Female nude

I think people assum that bcause I mostly sculpt various scary monstrs etc, that thats all I either want , or can do. So I figured it was time to sculpt somthing else out of the blue for a change.

This is intended eventually to be the major part of a very controlversial scene I have in mind. It carries a strange message and isn't one some people may agre with. So as such to cut down the tim I'll have to put up with an emmense ammount of shit, I'm keeping it under my hat for now.

Suffic to say it will both enrange people and also hopefully make them stop and think about some inportant stuff in life. At least thats the idea.

Right now the hair is a stand in and she's not yet posed. The body is based on someone although I'm banned on pain of death from saying who. (So you'll just have to guess!)
Enjoy...

Leaving the past behind

Sometimes in life you have to make decisions that either are uncomfortable to make or simply are things you feel you must do. A week or two ago I made one such decision, and that was to resign from Kurv studios. As some of you know, I’ve recorded 4 DVD’s with them so it came as a little bit of a shock to them that I wanted to leave. My reasons were simple, I’d been handed an offer from another company that while covering other things also covered DVD’s and I would have to be certifiable to turn it down.

It wasn’t easy to let Kurv and Wes know that I was heading in a direction that they could not follow, as I do like Wes as a person. But...I’m also a businessman and sometimes in business you have to make sure that your heart does not rule your head. So later in the year expect to see a new series of DVD’s and much more that are very special in a number of ways.

Now as it happens I’m the 1^st ‘3d DVD guy’ to change companies. It never been done before and as a rule people stay with one company for life. So I have no idea what either the 3d public’s reaction will be or anything else...it’s totally uncharted ground. But either way it’s sure to be exciting.

I’ve just completed 3 characters in 3 days to final render standard for a client. Far from being hard, or making me weary I actually have been thoroughly enjoying it. Of course the worst thing is this is ‘supposed’ to be week of my fortnight off lol. But I’m having so much fun it’s unreal as they are totally different style wise t anything I’ve ever done and a fair jump in a number of ways to some of my recent works. Although to be fair, people haven’t seen any ‘serious’ works form me for a little while due to being busy as a bee in busy season working for various clients on projects.

There have been a number of exciting developments behind the scenes that I can’t talk about, (although I’m itching to!) But I think they may raise some eyebrows once I can talk about them.

In my personal life, my son is back to sleeping only 5 hours a night and that can be tough at times. But still you get up and get to work as it’s what ‘dad’s do’......we cope no matter what. But I still go out for my 5 mil walks by myself to keep some semblance of sanity. Apart from that I’m still living a hermit’s lifestyle while conducting some render experiments in my ‘free time’. I’ve also been putting a lot of work into my rendering and lighting skills of late. I figured it’s no damn good making good models if they end up rendered out like crap. Yeah it can be boring, but it was something I needed to spend more time on at the expense of my ‘free time.’

Well it’s about 1am here so time for me to start winding down as it’s not a official ‘work night’ and try and get some space back in my brain for non 3d stuff. Although it’s been so long I get edgy when I have ‘time off’ and feel guilty for not working lol.

Sucessful?

Well as ever I keep forgetting to update this blog as often as I’d like, but life has been somewhat hectic of late. Career wise I’m overloaded with work offers and things have really taken off, most of them I can’t talk about yet due to non disclosure agreements. However I can mention one I’ve been working on for some time that will soon see the light of day. I started in the middle of last year writing a book on Zbrush for Wordware publishing. Although I still can’t see much about it, I can tell you it’s a BIG book and covers a lot of ground in ZBrush and its pipelines with other applications. Its the book that I would have wanted to read when I first got into ZBrush if thats any guide to you.

Also in a few weeks I start work on an undersea documentary on some really interesting things to sculpt and texture. (I’ll be solely responsible for the creatures in both parts of the documentary which it goes without saying is a MASSIVE job.) On top of this I have the things I can’t yet talk about, the usual plethora of articles on Zbrush and 3D that I’m paid to write and much more. So it’s a surprise that I am actually managing to fulfill my promise to try and have more of a ’life’ this year.

I’ve been getting out 2-3 times a week doing a 5 mile walk deep in the local countryside, which is amazing round here where I live and its great to just chill out with just the sheep and cows for company. I’ve also been moving off line more for not only the fact I need to get out more, but also as with the sheer volume of work I have to do the last thing need is any distractions. I’m still managing against all attempts to slow it down a very high output, although 90% of it are things I’ve not shared online. I realised that a question Glen Southern asked me a week back did indeed need answering from me. ‘Who am I doing this for? For myself or plaudits from others?’ (For those interested the conversation was around the endless stream of shit I get for being 'me' online on 3D forums.)

The answer was ‘myself’ so as such I don’t feel the need to share every god damn ZBrush fart I do these days. I have nothing to prove anymore to anyone except myself so as such I take more enjoyment in stuff and to be honest I don’t have to put up with half the jealous idiots I used to. (If they think they have reason to behave like idiots now wait till the end of the year after the things I have lined up are out lol. They’ll be psychopathic with rage lol.)

Well although its 1.04 am I still have another 4 hours of work let to do, such is the life of the freelancer. Good job I’m a clinical insomniac isn’t it?

Changes

Well here we are in 2008 with another year behind us. Last year saw a lot of changes in my life both professionally and personally, and I’m betting that this one will be about the same. Some changes I’m making on the professional side are that I’m going to slow down my output a bit and concentrate on a few bigger projects as opposed to my usual ‘machine gun’ approach. I feel it’s about time for another change in my style artistically, (which is something I try to do once or twice a year to keep things fresh.)

As last year I did 149 models (not counting the ‘work’ ones) I feel I’ve proved to myself that I can step my output up to pretty damn high output when required. So now I’m stepping back and taking more enjoyment in the models I’m planning to do. It also gives me time to expand my ‘scope’ a bit into other areas than just the digital sculpting side. The trouble is that sculpting is so much damn fun! But I am having rather a nice time at the moment brushing off the production side of rendering and lighting etc, which is something I’ve not done a lot of the last 12 months.

In my personal life I expect my usual bad luck to keep going as it has most of my life, although I am planning on taking more ‘me’ time than I have for quite a while. There are a lot of things I want to catch up on and need to stop being so insular and work absorbed. Basically it’s time to ‘get a life’ again. I’ve recently took about 3 weeks offline to give myself some breathing space while I got on with some work for a client. I felt the need to unplug for a while.

The internet can be addictive to me, so as I get older I find myself taking a step back from it more and more as a result. Plus there are some things I enjoy doing that I’d rather do without the distractions of the net, such as traditional art and sculpture. I’m planning on getting back into my clay work this year once I get some important jobs handed in. It’ll be interesting to see how one has affected the other.

Jaded with the 3d industry

There are days in my life when I wake up and want to give it all up. 3D, Digital sculpting the whole damn lot and go and do normal things that let’s face it are much less hassle. I got asked a question by a guy from Take 2 games today and I don’t think he got the response he wanted. Basically he asked what it was like to have some sort of name in 3d and do DVD’s etc... My answer was it was 80% of putting up with various crap and 20% good stuff.

Before I released my DVD’s and wrote my articles I was a no one, a nobody who very few people had heard of unless they hung around in a couple of forums on the net. People respected my work and me as a person and I was staring to gain ground after battling long and hard in the industry. At the risk of offending many, it’s far easier to get somewhere if you live in one of the big epicentres of games and films. If you don’t then unless you are prepared to uproot you are basically pissing against the wind.

You see it’s a basic human thing that people will always be more impressed by people who have worked on a big name project, than a guy who while at the same skill level hasn’t. It’s an extension of human nature that if someone has created something for a game or film you loved then they must be ‘great’. That’s the sort of thing that bugs me as someone who lives in a remote area well away from the 3d world as such as there is no chance of me working on a big name project where I live. But I don’t really want to move house to somewhere I may not like either. I like living in the middle of nowhere, its quiet, there are no guns or riots and definitely no earthquakes.

So I made a choice long ago when I started out that I would make it about ‘the art’ and not what I did and for whom. The thing is most times people do not judge art on the art itself but by the artist and what and where he works and if they 'like him as a person'. As I rarely tell people who I am doing work for outside of the DVD’s and articles etc, this will always put me as second fiddle to guys born in another country. This to some degree I can live with, although like life itself, it isn’t fair. (But yet again no one said it would be right?)

Since I started doing DVD’s writing lots of articles etc, things have taken a darker turn. Suddenly I get people sending emails to me telling me I'm one step away from Adolph Hitler for daring to try and break the mould a bit in the 3d world. I’ve had threats of all sort of stuff, been the subject of dirty tricks campaigns from rival companies and artists that I never would have had if I hadn’t started doing what I do. Yes, I do realise that sounds paranoid, but trust me the DVD business is not ‘nice’ on a business footing. But it’s actually 2 sided as well. While it is apparently ‘OK’ for big companies to do dirty tricks on other companies, it’s not deemed ok for companies to do it back to them. But the news is, that’s not how business works. Let’s not forget the moment someone pays you for something you are in business whether you like it or not.

So now I try to play business as I was taught to by my father, who has run several large companies before retiring. His advice is to ‘take no prisoners, because the moment you do you’re fucked’. But the trouble is I can’t actually make myself do that, it’s not ‘right’ in my eyes. I play by my own rules which are no doubt old fashioned to most. I believe in fair play for everyone and making sure everyone gets the same chancewithout favoritism. But still I get all sorts of insults including bizarrely from people who do not speak much English complaining that they cannot understand me on my DVD’s. Now you see if I was buying a DVD from a country where English is not the 1^st language I wouldn’t expect to be able to understand more than 20% of it! But hey, maybe I’m just crazy like that eh?

So it’s fair to say that the negative shift I see in people in the industry is getting me down. Whereas a couple of years back everyone got on with everyone else and helped each other regardless of position or placement, now it’s suddenly every man for himself. Maybe this is due to the fact that now there are much less jobs around than artists to fill them. All of a sudden you are not guaranteed a job even if you have the talent, as a company probably will go for someone with less talent and ability that lives closer than you. The industry can afford to pick and choose now. With 3D not being exactly cheap to get into, more and more people are getting into debt with no chance of getting their money back. So it’s no wonder suddenly there are whispering campaigns and people being nasty, as they feel their future lively hood is threatened.

So what will I do...will I give it all up and do one of the other things I’m good at? Or do I persevere and try and work through it? I have no idea but right now the fact that I will always be an outsider and never treated as equal to others who work for big firms (even though I taught some of them in the first place) and always be seen as 2^nd best doesn’t appeal to me. If I am truly 'pissing against the wind' and there is no way to keep going then I may well just keep doing my art for me and no one else. As right now the fact that a great many industry names have learnt from my tutorials over the years and never even post in a thread of mine as a simple show of thanks is starting to make me think why should I bother sharing my knowledge at all if people are only out for themselves. I’m not in this to make other people rich and be successful or play 2^nd fiddle to those I taught (harsh as that sounds.) Come what may I value my honesty above all else.

It comes down to the basic fact that I am sick and tired of being used by others as a means to get rich or get further in their careers with little or no thanks. I can name 2 or 3 very big names who have came to me for advice how to do things over the last few months alone, yet these same people never say a dicky bird about it in public as it would shatter their image as ‘top dudes’. I say nothing as it’s my own damn fault for allowing myself to be taken advantage of by guys who worked together, have been to the same colleges together, and so it’s no surprise they will favour each other over everyone else. That’s fine as long as they don’t expect me to help them to do it. So what does the future hold? Probably more of the same with an increase in the amount of crap I get as I release more and more. For every step up the ladder I take I will get 3 rungs kicked out from under me, but as I’m a pig headed old bastard it won’t stop me. In fact it may well make me only more detirmined to keep on getting as good as I can be.

When the time does come for me to call it a day on the 3D world I will go out with a bang and not a whimper. After all at heart I’m still a performer, and a true performer never lets go a chance like that. ;)

Current WIP's

There are two digital sculpts I’m working on at the moment, the first of Ming the Merciless from flash Gordon, is another one of my ‘famous movie character redesigns’. Whereas the 2^nd is a project trying to do a digital replica of Davros from the TV series Doctor Who. The Ming one I’m trying to make a little less ‘cartoon evil villain’ looking and more realistic for a planetary dictator. He’s without facial hair at the moment and I’m just trying to get the forms lifelike before I move onto any of the heavy detailing stuff. Now as I’m going to be giving it the old black and white film look of the original movie serial I don’t have to go too mad, as a lot of details will get washed out.

It is of course a great way to make sure that your main forms are correct as you have no uber wrinkles to help ‘sell it’ as realistic. But by far the more difficult of the two is the one of Davros.

The reason for this is many fold, part of it being due to there being about 4 different designs for him that I’m trying to fit together into a archetypal ‘Davros’, and partly due to having to replicate a bad 70’s latex mask. Getting that bad makeup job looking right is actually proving to be a bit of a challenge, as to be honest I’m not used to having to make something look ropey on purpose lol.

Will either of them make it to final? Well that really depends on how much work I have to do really. Paid work always comes before personal projects for me, so as I’m rather busy they may get mothballed if time is tight. But fingers crossed I’ll manage to get both done.

The escapology years (for those that requested more info)

OK, I’ve had a few requests of late to expand somewhat on my ‘back history’ as an escape artist and with people wanting details of the world record I still hold after all this time. It’s not something I was going to go into details about as it has nothing to do with 3d really, but if it fulfils people’s curiosity then it’s worth it.

I was lucky enough up till about 1993 to travel the world as a professional escape artist, it’s something that I enjoyed and made me a shed load of money at the time. I was lucky enough to appear on TV, radio and in national newspapers on a regular basis for some time until a health problem meant I had to give it up. This wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. I started as a professional escapologist aged 13and no it wasn’t a ‘family thing’ it was just something that as a child I’d always wanted to be.

In fact my career as a professional writer started aged about 16 as a main feature writer for a trade magazine at the time. I managed to somehow receive a whole host of awards and was the only person before or since to hold the ‘Escape master’ award, the ‘Masters Master’ Award and be given title goodwill ambassador.

In my time there weren’t a whole lot of things I didn’t get out of in the name of escapology lol. (You name it, and I’ve probably done it at some point.) The world record I hold is for getting out of a regulation mailbag locked tied and sealed and the record stands unbroken for more than a decade and a half at 3.37 seconds. It involved escaping from wrist restraints and the mailbag in that time and leaving everything untouched and still sealed.

The mailbag was examined afterwards to make sure no nefarious stuff had gone on by the representative of the Guinness book of records and professional bodies. So far it’s been tried to be broken on at least 5 occasions I know of, and no one has beaten it. Guinness eventually removed all escapology records from the book as they preferred things that were more ‘competitive’ and could be broken more easily.

I was forced to give this up at a time when things were going amazingly well due to a serious health issue that meant I would have put my life in danger should I do it again. (Well no more than usual anyway!) So there you have it, that’s the broad outline of what I did an achieved in my time before I was forced to quit. It’s something I’m immensely proud of and still amazed how much I achieved at such a relatively young age. There are many things I’ve missed out, b simply because if I listed everything I did no doubt someone would have a go accusing me of making stuff up. But I can assure you that next time I track some of the articles, new clippings and TV spots down I’ll put them to one side for those who crave proof. LOL

I’m also lucky that these were the days before the internet as a mainstream phenomenon, so the only pictures of me as an escape artist online are those I put there luckily. Otherwise it could have got embarrassing lol. I still pick up the handcuffs etc from time to time when I’m in the house on my own to make sure I’ve still got the ‘skillz’ lol... something’s don’t leave you and are like riding a bike. So that’s one of the many things I did before I hit the world of 3d. In fact without it I’d probably not write professionally now, and had I not been forced to leave it behind no doubt I would never have begun in 3D. I hope that’s enough information for those that wanted it.

I know some will say I’m only putting this here as some sort of big headed ego trip, but to those people I say this...firstly this is put here to fulfil a promise I made to a few people over the last year, and in particularly ‘Aminuts’ from SubD and Zbrush central. Secondly I am proud of what I achieved (even if my health problem meant leaving the field I loved and costing me every penny I ever made in specialist bills.) I see no reason to hide what I’ve done or achieved when I was younger to behonest.

You could say I've had an 'interesting life', and you may well be right, although not always in a good way. Its not something I talk about often as it usualy solicits one of a handfull of reactions. Ranging from disbelief and a zillion questions to more postive and more negative ones. So as a rule I keep quiet about it.